The American Shame
For good reason, many Americans are rejoicing! Why? President-Elect Barack Obama! That’s right the 44th President is not white! I myself am very pleased, no, proud that we have come far enough as a society to see beyond race and put a black man in charge. We may disagree with some of his policies, that is to be expected but let us keep our criticisms to that. A challenge of his character will probably prove he has the stuff. Will he heal the nation? He might help, we have already sent a message to the world that change is possible, that we can rise above, that you do not have to accept a fate not due you. The onus to heal, to change, to improve is on us as individuals. A great many things have also been exposed- America’s dark secret. A sickness so penetrating, it is in our very marrow. Racism.
Tuesday’s excitement was nearly squashed for me. I had my heart broken, smashed by this hideous plague flying through the air. Text messages abound from all over, I chanced to receive one from a good friend of mine. A man I have not seen in quite some time but have a strong bond with none-the-less. He is a man ahead of his time in many ways. He contains a spiritual insight that few I know possess and has gone through crisis and come out on top. His view on religion and historical amnesia are advanced, to which I give kudos. His political leanings however confuse me, especially coming from a person light-years ahead in the aforementioned areas. Difference in minutia aside, Tuesday was alight with digital messaging and the topic … well what else. My friend was certainly not shy of it but I noticed something peculiar, his texts had a very colorful way of expressing his displeasure. I am a huge supporter of venting through humor but something told me “things aren’t looking good, they are replacing the rose garden at the White House with a watermelon patch” doesn’t qualify as satire. I couldn’t believe my eyes. This is 2008, right? I decided to let it go as I was pretty involved (having company over and the results pouring in). Then another “repeat after me- wheres da baffroom at crakker ass crakka”. It hurt. Deeply. I responded “you’re better than that, bro”. Nothing for the rest of the night. Then history happened.
The next day I got similar texts from another friend of mine on my way into work (something about aunt Jemmima and the Statue of Liberty…uggh). I decided to call her up. Now, she’s a sweetheart so I didn’t want to be harsh but I couldn’t let it pass. She answered, I said “come on, what are you (name of a good friend [who is a good man but a known racist]? What was that?” (it should be noted that I not once raised my voice or became angry, but carried a concerned tone throughout) “Oh, I didn’t mean to offend you. I didn’t mean to send it.” But she did send it. She said she’s not a racist, hell she even voted for him (him= Obama). I probed a little bit, said she was better than that. She said it wasn’t a big deal but she would stop sending them (to me at least). I was terribly let down. Not her, I said to myself. Then the words “I’m sorry. I know I’m being uptight” came out of my mouth, from whence the came, I know not. “That’s alright, everybody is entitled to their opinions” said she. Wait, am I missing something here?
Opinion: One’s belief on a fact or subject.
Are we entitled to our own opinions? Of course! Every human being has the right to believe whatever the hell he or she wants, not just in this country but in this universe. That does not make all opinions substantiated or valid. Believe what you want, even if you are probably wrong. I will be the first to cast a rock at myself as I have been humbled many times over for my notably invalid beliefs and stances (and I am positive it will happen again). But I can’t be wrong all the time, right? (of course, right). I am pretty sure I am in the right here. Her statement about opinions (hers being it is ok to tell racist jokes, as long as they are not coming from an all out racist is ok, and let’s be frank that is what they are, racist jokes. Mine is it is not ok to tell racist jokes, or anything dishonest at anytime, not because you might offend someone (offence is a choice and not really mine to take) or because you might get caught but because it is wrong. And it is wrong because it is both dishonest and furthers the agenda, ignorance and hatred of those who actually hold such nonsense to be true and you are spreading it unknowingly).
After our conversation ended I went on to work and the day carried on as any other. Later that night I sent her a message on Facebook saying something along the lines of if I came across uptight of superior, it was far from my intention. I value her friendship. Her response, “thank you for apologizing”. I scanned the rest of the message for an apology from her, nothing ( shouldn’t expect such things, I should know better than to keep my hopes up or be so selfish as that). I became angry. I admitted my wrongs, why can’t you?!?! I felt remorse for my actions, where’s yours? A lot of time has passed and many a deep breath exhaled and yet I still feel let down. I found out from a mutual friend that she felt I came across high and mighty. Is that so? Am I? Do I believe I am superior? The answer will surely come back No. Well, that is if I ask myself. I have noticed that I used to in the past as was pointed out by several people prior to now. Am I wrong in asking others, especially those I love dearly, to improve themselves or challenge themselves for betterment? I challenge myself rigorously and daily (and in much stronger tones than those used to others, she included).
We must ask- why do people justify behavior they know to be flawed? If someone went around with a razor and randomly slashed people across the face because it would produce a laugh, would you do the same? And when confronted would you say “I’m not a sadist”? This analogy is extreme, granted, but the principle remains.
This behavior is so deep seeded in this country, it is unbelievable. I am personally ashamed of it. Are we a nation of drunk racist uncles? You know the kind, you love him but damned if he doesn’t drop the n-bomb at thanksgiving and embarrass you in front of friends and family. If we are honest with ourselves, we know this behavior is shameful and wrong. Don’t we?
